Okay, first of all we need to address how utterly gorgeous Jacob Tremblay is and how much we’ll all miss seeing his cute face everywhere now that awards season is basically over:
So now that we’ve acknowledged that, let’s move on to the fashion. There were a lot of gorgeous colours this year, which I am super happy about! I love colour on the red carpet and I think it makes it a billion times more interesting than a sea of black, white, nude and metallic gowns. There were some hits and some definite missteps though, so let’s discuss, shall we?
Tina Fey &a Reese Witherspoon
Is it awkward to be the only two people wearing the exact same shade of a colour? Probably not, but it’s definitely awkward when one of you, who is NOT a past Oscar winner, has a dress that is a million times more tailored and stunning than the other. Tina, you nailed it. Reese, your boob holders are too saggy and loose to even perform that purpose, and I feel like I can kind of see your bra, so Ms. Fey comes out way on top for me.
There wasn’t a lot of red this year, so whoever wears it always gets immediate attention. Charlize looks stunning in the colour, and while the neckline is so plunging it’s basically navel baring, she carries it off perfectly. The long necklace is the perfect accessory, dressing it up a little without detracting from the gown.
To be one of the few people wearing yellow, and win an Oscar? Kudos! The bubble hem is a risk, but it paid off for her, and the silver embellishments give the ballgown a modern edge. A lot of people likened it to that other famous yellow dress – no, not Michelle Williams’ Oscars dress. They’re talking about Belle’s yellow gown from Beauty and the Best, obviously. The likeness is similar-ish, I must admit. I don’t love her hair though, and Brie Larson had a similar hairstyle, which to me is suuuuuper high school photos hair: half up, half down, centre part. It makes me think of my high school photos and that makes me cringe.
The Upholstery Award. There’s always SOMEONE. Someone who wears a dress with a floral pattern so ugly that it makes the dress look ill fitting and like it was ripped from a couch in an op-shop window. This year Poehler is that someone. I feel like it would look better in person, like it had really ornate stitching or something, but still. I’m sorry Amy. I love you, but you can do better.
This is an in between look for me. I LOVE the colour, yet would probably never wear it myself, and it’s simplicity with the giant sleeve is interesting. But I’m not sure about matching the lipstick to the dress. But what other lipstick colour can you match to a tangerine gown? I also can’t help but wonder if, when she lifts her arm up, the whole sleeve thing snaps up and scrunches itself up into her neck, like when you try and take off a wet bathing suit. I NEED TO KNOW HOW IT WORKS.
This is a black dress, yes. It’s a pretty black dress, right? But it’s so much more! It’s a custom “I just gave an awesome post-separation interview to Vanity Fair and came out looking like the better person, despite the gentle snark I managed to slide in here and there.” I’m expecting her career to skyrocket even further now – I predict this time next year she’ll be killing it left, right and centre a-la her Alias days.
This is a blue ribbon winner’s dress. At first I didn’t like it, musing on twitter that it’s like someone called, say, Janet said “Let’s do Under the Sea theme!” and everyone in the design room was so sick of them suggesting it that they were like “just let Janet have her fucking under the sea moment and then we’ll never have to hear about it AGAIN” and this was the result. But the more I look at it, the more I appreciate it. The bodice is understated, and the jewelled belt is a lovely and striking addition to it’s softness. The skirt has just the right amount of ruffles, and they settle so gently into that train that it’s a beautiful effect. I don’t like her hair (I believe the back part has some jeweled accessory clip things in it, but still) – it’s a little too high school photos for me. The dress itself, though, has really grown on me through the course of the day.
If you look like you are wearing a plastic tarp wrapped around your body then you need to get a better stylist. NO.
If you’re not nominated for an Oscar, you might as well dress like one. But luckily Margot pulls it off. She looks stunning, and even though the gown’s gold snakeskin has a slightly 80s Dynasty vibe, I am so on board with it. I love that her clutch has that long tassle as well, a nice touch on what would have otherwise been a simple black clutch. I just have one little note: I wish she had done something with her hair. Mine looks like that when I let it air dry and it’s…not great.
Olivia Wilde, Rooney Mara and Lady Gaga
I didn’t see that many white dresses this year, but these three that I did see I did not care for. Olivia looks like she’s wearing boob bandages, which has been done before and never successfully. Rooney looks like she’s wearing a tablecloth with the middle cut out for space to put a trivet and a plate of roast beef on. Lady Gaga looks regal in white, but she’s wearing pants under a skirt, which I cannot approve of.
I love this. I’m glad Dior finally did her right. This is probably the best gown they’ve had her wear, and I love the simplicity of her hair and accessories, which really let the gorgeous black and nude tones shine though. Love this.
I always unsure whether or not I like her gowns. This comes down in a firm yes for me. I love it in all it’s feathery, seafoamy glory. She looks gorgeous. Completely stunning. Cate, can I please borrow your DNA? Your skin is utterly flawless.
Nude dresses are so hard to get right. Chrissy has the advantage of being pregnant and totally glowing, but not everyone can arrange that to fall during awards season, obviously. Having red against nude though, is so lovely. Elegant and striking, and there’s enough of it to make it look like she’s not completely naked.
I have to include Ms. Arquette as an honorable mention – she is so often the victim of major, MAJOR boob smushage, and this gown is lovely. Fitted but not too tight, and her bust is appropriately wrangled. Nicely done.
The silhouette is simple, yes, but the colours! The texture! The ombre-ness of it! Her accessories! I love all of it. She’s gorgeous.
My worst dressed, easily. I don’t know if she’s planning to be a bridesmaid in a 1975 wedding after the ceremony, or if she accidentally ripped a sleeve off her dress on the way out of the limo. This is awful.
My best dressed as soon as I saw her. This was one of the first gowns I saw and I didn’t see anything that stuck with me as much as this one. I think a large part of it is that Ronan wears lovely, but very safe gowns, and this is a departure to a more sexy, mature look. The green is gorgeous and she looks comfortable and confident in it. Well played!
Who were your best and worst fashion picks?
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