2014 Emmy Awards – Fashion Hits and Misses
Aug
26th

There was a lot of white and a lot of red at this year’s Emmy Awards. That basically sums it up, but Imma do some fashion hits and misses anyway, because there were a lot of both.

But first: Apparently, this is Gwen Stefani.

Yeah, I’ll give you a minute to squint at this image and then go and Google what she usually looks like. Because she either sent a relative who sort of looks like her, or she really messed with her perfectly fine face.

Is this Gwen Stefani? “IS IT?” she screamed at the internet.

(I just showed this photo to my husband and he had no idea who it was. When I told him it is allegedly Gwen Stefani he said “I thought it was Cher!”)

Moving on, let’s get straight into the red gowns, because there were a LOT of them. Here are some of the more interesting ones.


1. Claire Danes: I’m not thrilled with the front of this gown, particularly the glittery fake leaf necklace or whatever that is around her neck, but when I saw a shot of the back I fell in love with it. That lace back is just spectacular. How do we all feel about the belt? I think if it wasn’t there, I would feel like something was missing, but then I also feel like it’s too modern for the dress. I don’t know. I have belt issues and remain undecided.

2. Uzo Aduba: This was SO CLOSE to being my best dressed. I think she looks stunning. The colour is fantastic on her, the cut and fit is perfect and the textured train brings it up from being just a strapless gown to a statement gown. I love all of it.

3. Christina Hendricks: Ehhhh…..you know? I mean, it’s not the worst thing she’s worn, and I love the colour. I love it when redheads wear read and pink and basically say “screw you” to colour consultants the world over who would probably tell them to avoid those two colours. But I’m not a fan of dresses with a noticeable seam attaching the bottom half of the dress and I feel that the further down the bodice we go the more crumpled it looks. Instead of being nicely rouched, it just looks like it was stuffed into a suitcase for a day and a half. Also, her hair needs waaaaay more volume. It looks like my hair in Summer after I’ve been swimming.

4. January Jones: Again, I’m not a fan of dresses that have that high hemline at the front. Depending on the angle of the photo, it can make the wearer look like they’re four feet tall (I feel like Kaley Cucoco should have a public service announcement before awards season warning her fellow actresses of this). But I do like the texture and the two black inserts running up the bodice are cool. And her shoes look fairly awesome. But her hair? No. Why can the Mad Men ladies never get their hair right? Seriously, who can I speak to about this?


I really love this black cocktail dress on Jessica Pare. The sequined bodice with the plain black skirt is such a nice contrast, and the side gather pulling it up slightly on one side is so retro. I do wish she’d gone with a softer hair style, though.


Siiiiigh. Look, I get that Amanda Peet is pregnant and as I have said many times before, it is REALLY HARD to find nice formal maternity wear. I know this from personal experience. But I feel like this is a maternity dress you would see on Big Love. it’s overly modest, the pattern is frumpy, and the sleeves are too little girly. And I say that as someone who loves a good, soft, sleeve. Also, her hair is really DIY. Like, she’s watched a YouTube video on how to create a half-up do but she didn’t practice it before hand. Amanda Peet does not have the best red carpet style history and this is another misstep.


The colour of Laura Prepon’s dress is to die for. I loooove it so much. The clutch is perfect with it, and her casual low hair-do is pretty (but I wish she was a redhead because that would totally pop against the turquoise). Anyway, the only thing I don’t like is the giant fabric half collar. Is it there to hide appetisers in at the after party? Or perhaps to blot her forehead when it gets too shiny? I don’t know and I don’t care, it’s unnecessary and it looks like it’s there to cover a sewing mishap on her shoulder. WHAT ARE YOU HIDING, PREPON?


Metallic dresses ahoy!

1. Katherine Heigl: I couldn’t figure out why she was at the Emmys, but apparently she’s in some new show called State of Affairs. Anyway, I kind of get what she was going for here, because Heigl has gone for a retro, Hollywood glamour look in the past, but I think she should have saved this one for when she’s seventy years old and being trotted out at some kind of Shonda Rhimes gala or something. Although I do think if it didn’t have the sleeves and was a different colour it would be okay. I do like the sculpted neckline and high collar. And I do wonder if Heigl has learned to stop being such an ass in interviews, but that’s entirely besides the point. But I bet I’m not alone in that thought, AM I?

2. Taryn Manning: This is old Hollywood glamour. I love it, and I love it on her. Enough said. Maybe a stronger coloured lipstick? But that’s it. And I bet she’s happy to be out in public looking a billion times better than Pensatuckey ever does, right?

3. & 4. Amy Poehler & Taylor Schilling: I put these two together because at first I thought I really liked Taylor Schilling’s gown. But then I saw Amy Poehler’s sexy silver number and I was like, “Nope!” Taylor’s is fine, if a little bland. the beading looked nice on camera, but Amy’s dress kills it dead.


Guys, I can’t decide on Allison Janney’s dress. I love the cut and colour, but….velvet? It’s not 1993, you know? And I think she’s quite tall in real life, and I’m sure taller women often struggle to find gowns that fit properly. I am super happy she won the award though, she is ridiculously funny on Mom. Thoughts?


Michelle Dockery’s gown looks like a formal cheerleader’s uniform. That is all.


This is another cocktail gown that I am In. Love. With. It’s hard to tell, but Natasha Lyonne’s dress is blue and it has a lace overlay. I love it, even the lacey ruffle at the bottom, when historically, I have been vehemently opposed to most ruffles. This is just slightly outside the box, and I think it suits her perfectly. Plus, I do love a long sleeved gown. A+


Sarah Paulson is obviously promoting Arachnophobia 2: When Ladybirds Attack.


Colour blocked dresses

1. Sarah Hyland: I wish the top was joined to the skirt, but honestly, that’s my only issue. I think this is super fun and youthful, while still being appropriate to the event. I also love her hair up, because I feel like she usually wears it down and this seems refreshing. Plus, I love the coral colour.

2. Natalie Dormer: Same as above. Fun, youthful, but event appropriate. Love it!


I love what Anna Gunn is wearing. I just found out it’s Jenny Packham, which is a favourite of Kate Middleton and I always love what she’s wearing, so it makes sense that I loved this from the get go. I feel like a lot of women would have seen her wearing this and just thought “Dammit. She looks effortless.” She also looks really, really comfortable, which, if I was at this event, I would be envious of. If someone in a room has a better dress than me and looks more comfortable than I feel, I would be green with envy as I sucked in my stomach and tried to secretly eat a third mini-burger from a passing waiter at the same time.


I was going to do a collage of alllllll the white gowns, but then I saw Danielle Brooks and I thought “No point, she killed it.”


I put this in because I just think it’s really cute and fun. Teyonah Parris looks like she was born to wear it. So cute, right?

WORST DRESSED

Lena Dunham. Could it be anyone else? It’s ill fitting, it’s workwear mixed with dress-ups, the blonde pudding bowl hair cut is abhorrent and she needs to learn how to pose on the red carpet. I mean, GOD. WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE? It looks a five year old putting on a tulle dress up skirt over their school uniform.

BEST DRESSED

Julia Louis-Dreyfus is perfection. Please, please, please let me age as beautifully as she is. BRB, going to get my hair cut exactly like hers.

That’s it, peeps. Who were your best and worst?

Until next time,

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